First Entry Since Arriving in Perth

I have arrived!


Arrival shock:


It’s so surreal to be back in Perth. Half the time I think I am dreaming and that it is the strangest, most foreign thing to be here. The other half of me already feels like I never left… except that I am acutely aware that I am here on staff, not as a student. That part is not surreal at all. Maybe it’s the new and exciting privilege of using the staff bathrooms. I love it (being staff that is, not the bathrooms per se! I am deeply and pleasantly aware that I am supposed to be here.


I know I am staffing the right school, too. I sat down with the leader of the school (Janine) my first morning after travelling and we discussed the school and what she felt God was speaking about it. She told me she felt that God was putting psalm 84 on her heart for the school. She feels that through their DTS they will really know and feel that it is better to spend one day with God than a thousand without Him. It was amazing because God had put psalm 84 on my heart earlier that morning, too. Those that set their heart on pilgrimage- on seeking Him out and following after Him- go from strength to strength, and get to see His face. That is better than anything else. I know from the experience of comparison. The hardest times in my life WITH Him have always been soooooooooooo much better than my best times in life lived without Him. It was says it is better to be a doorkeeper in His house than live in tents (I think that was a better thing back then than it is now- you know, life fancy tents, not camping tents) with bad company. I am a UC Berkeley grad, yet I not only don’t make money, I depend on the financial support of others. It’s pretty humbling to be doing this at 24 with a college degree. I sure feel like a doorkeeper. But I wouldn’t trade it for any fancy, high-paid career or some highly-esteemed profession, not even for a day. I am really looking forward to seeing the students getting a hold of the message behind this psalm, too. It's life changing, life bettering.


One the fun side:


There’s been a bit of fun involved, too, already….


Last night I went to a Christmas party at 8 Bulwer (that’s the house name). Yep. A Christmas party. A bunch of North Americans decided since it’s cold here now and hot in December when Christmas actually happens, we should celebrate it now, when the weather is slightly more like what we are used to. It was a fabulous party. People at YWAM Perth are really good hosts and party-throwers I’ve noticed. They pulled out all the stops. They had eggnog, red and green jello, stuffing (talk about random, there was no turkey or anything else, just stuffing) and hot chocolate and tons of Christmas decorations. We even played the white elephant gift exchange game. It was a riot. Since most of us are on a stringent budget the gifts included an orange, a bar of chocolate, a plastic sword, and a gold ribbon. Yes, a gold ribbon. Which actually got stolen believe it or not. I was uber pleased to get rid of a pair of gloves I never wear and a pack of gum- which got stolen three times… yessssssssssssss! To put icing on the cake we watched A Charlie Brown Christmas. It was great. On the not so Christmas-y side we also made smores (with smuggled in American marshmellows) in their backyard and lit sparklers. Mmmmmmmm........


To be honest and dangerously open, the party was fun but a bit hard. I miss my home community already - where I am just me and people know me and appreciate me. I am safe being me and it is easy to be me- in fact, the people that surrounded me reminded me of who I am, and it was easy to stay true to that. Here, I don’t know very many people and very few know me at all yet. I know this will change with time, but the in between stage is difficult. I’m not craving attention or appreciation, but I do want the freedom to just BE ME. I can’t wait to get to that point here.


Friday Night meeting revelation:


Friday night meeting was also a really great experience. Aleni spoke on what a servant’s heart looks like, challenging us to examine our motives for what we do. Do we do it for the recognition? Because we think we’ll get a reward? Do we do the bare minimum sometimes because we are unpaid- just “volunteers”? (It was really cute when Aleni asked the audience, “do you have a volunteer mentality?” and one of the toddlers in the front happened to cry out “noooooooooooo” at just the right time). Since I have arrived in Perth I have been singing the song “You are my treasure” over and over again. My heart and spirit have been so pleased, so satisfied to be here because I know I will get closer to God, closer to Jesus. Even in worship on Friday night I was brought to laughter and tears during the worship because I wanted nothing but Him and I knew being here again, that is exactly what I will get. But, as Aleni gave His talk I did see a part of my heart that had been clinging to a certain verse in the Bible about rewards. The whole “those who leave mother and brother and father and husband and home will receive many more, in this lifetime” bit (not a direct quote) was something that had helped me be able to give up everything at home to come here. I felt (and feel) I was giving up a lot, and I felt reassured that I would get back was I lost – literally. But He challenged me in this, saying, “what if what I meant by that was that I will be your mother, father, lover, brother, and home? What if that is the reward and nothing else? Would that be enough?” My heart had been saying yes to that question for the last few days, but I could tell my mind was still clinging to the whole repayment thing. So, I’m letting go of that, too. Because He is the best reward, and if He is the only reward, it will all still be more than worth it.


A random note about my housing:


I am beginning to like my house. It’s old and, despite the drafts and leaks (it’s raining A LOT here), feels remarkably cozy. It’s kinda like camping. It actually feels a lot like camping. We keep the window in the bathroom open all the time to keep it from molding (makes for cold showers, but I am all for the prevention of mold considering that the last time I was in Perth I worked on the property crew and spent a week cleaning the mold off the ceiling in there). So with a window always open the house mostly smells of the great outdoors (expect the refrigerator which smells of something else). I really like smelling the plants and the rain when brushing my teeth at night and in the morning, very “campy.” You can also hear the sound of the rain on the roof, and the wind through the trees from any room in the house (none of the houses here are very sound proof) and I sleep in a sleeping bag. So, yeah, it feels oddly like a big camping trip. Which I like quite a bit. But I am trying not to get too attached to my new home because I may move (temporarily) next week to live closer to the students during the lecture phase. Anyway… just some random detail.


Looking ahead:


This week the whirlwind begins. I start leadership school and the students of the discipleship school will start to come arrive. My 18+ hour days will begin soon. Honestly, I know He promises the whole Philippians 4:13 all things through Him thing. But I am terrified. I was able to survive my DTS last year, but this is even more hours and more exhaustion. He gave me the grace to actually not feel that tired last year, but for some reason I am scared and doubtful this time around. I guess that’s something I gotta talk to Him about today.
Next entry I’ll know more about the school and the students. I think getting to know the students will help remind me of the passion God gave me that got me into this holy mess. That passion will hopefully be what gets me out of bed at 5 a.m. next week.