Outreach Teams and a Bit of Openness

Apologies to the faithful readers who have been devastated by the lack of new editions to this little column I write. Shout outs in particular to Dad, Sara, Suky and Christina (and the other faithful subscribers that I just don't know about!)

The last three weeks have been incredibly busy. I'm not entirely sure why. Partly I was sick. Partly we had several really long application days (the Fridays on which we apply to our lives everything we learned through out the week), and partly because we have been filling up most of our Saturdays with car washes to fundraise money for outreach. And, to be honest, partly because of not knowing what exactly to share on this blogspot. Not because nothing is happening here, but because so much is happening here that I am not sure how to put it into words. I can't possibly capture it all here, even if I tried. So I will just offer a little sampler.

I am starting to delight in the things that used to drive me crazy. I actually made up a song with a friend to the tune of "Isn't it ironic" by Alanis Morissette. We tend to run out of things in really ironic ways. For example, we will have no milk for the longest and then all of a sudden the day we get milk is that day we run out of cereal. Same goes for the brownsugar and the oatmeal, the bread and the jam, etc. etc. This at one point torture is now a source of entertainment.

I am learning to let go of control. I have decided to trust God with my life and let Him decide what is best for me. I don't know what this means for my future, but I know it will be good. Right now, I am considering continuing on with this organization in the future. We will see... more will be revealed.

I am also learning how to love people. I apologize as SOON as I've done something stupid or not very nice. And I am seeing the people around me the way that God made them to be and little glimpses of their futures- the people that they are becoming. It is exciting and immensely fulfilling to love people who are extremely different from you- people who you probably, if you were honest, not be friends with under normal circumstances. And it has been a gift to my soul to love people in the active, selfless way love is always supposed to be. We have talked alot here about how love is usually thought of in terms of a feeling. And it is something we are always trying to get. But we ought to give love. And we ought to remember that love is an action- on behalf of the good of someone else. I realize how selfish I have been in relationships. And I am by no means cured of it, but I am working on it. And it gets easier to love people here as we shed our insecurities, hurts, and pride. People are being transformed around me and it is inspiring. In a strange environment like this one- unfamiliar, far from home, intense- you get a lot of opportunities for growth. You are constantly bombarded with opportunities to choose. Choose to love someone you don't know. Choose to ignore harsh words spoken and return it with a blessing. Choose to look for the good in every situation and give thanks in every circumstance.

My biggest challenge this week was getting our outreach group assignments. They are breaking our school up into four groups for outreach. All four teams will be in the same city in Southeast Asia for the whole three months, but we will be in different regions and will only get to come together once a month. I found out who I will be with, which seven other students and which leader, for three months. To be honest, I was really disappointed. I have made some really close friends and some pretty good friends. None of them is in my group. I was really sad, and felt a fair amount of grief. Sounds dramatic, but it is an unnatural thing to develop intense friendships in close quarters for three months (think about it- I spend almost 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with the girls. Not even most married couples spend that much time together) and then be ripped apart. But I have had, in the last few days, the chance to reflect and pray and I can now say with confidence that I am really excited about my group. I am excited to get to know these people I know nothing about. I am anxious to see these nine different people from seven different nations become a family over the course of eleven weeks.

By the way, I am praying for God to provide $1,300 more dollars for the outreach phase of this adventure. If you pray, please pray!

In the meantime (until the next edition) I will leave you with some random achievements from the last few weeks:
- I have learned how to build a brick wall
- I have learned how to say "how much is that beautiful, wild, crazy, awesome, great monkey? I want to buy it!" in my friend's native tongue
- I have spoken in front of 400 people (shared a little story/testimony in front of the whole base)
- I have been to a photo exhibit held by an organization that seeks to spread awareness about child-trafficking
- I have been in charge of designing and creating a new announcement wall for the school offices
- I have tried what is called a lemon bitters, which is an Australian thing and quite delish
- I have still not seen a kangaroo, an unaccomplishment really
- I have met a woman who was born and raised in Berkeley, California
- I have been the source of envy for many who want my cool camping foldup chair
- I have played a game of volleyball and not left the court pouting, name-calling, or bashing myself up
- I have won a team scrabble game (in which we were behind by over thirty points) with a single letter placed on the board
- I have misspelled the word 'won' by spelling it 'one' on my blog. Don't look for it, you can't see it, I've already deleted it

Thanks for reading, until next time!!

rainy days

I apologize in advance for any incoherence to this entry. I am sick. Just a cold. I've learned through my experiences working with kids that if it's just a cold I have nothing to complain about. So here we go... feigning normalcy.

This week has been one of the best. I am finally getting used to waking up to forty different females' faces. I am finally enjoying the lunacy of frozen milk and exercising at six in the morning.

Boy, it sure rains a lot here. A lot. In fact, it has become my number one source of entertainment. Tuesday night after small group, (one of the leaders and three other girls and myself hang out on Tuesday nights- which has been great fun and very refreshing) the four of us girls started walking back from our leader's house. It had been raining most of the evening but had decided to take a break. Just as soon as we got a block away, it started sprinkling. Sprinkling turned to rain and rain turned to downpour and we were left between a rock and a wet place- we were almost exactly between our starting point and home. No one had an umbrella or rain gear or anything, so we started to run through the middle of the deserted streets. Then simultaneously we all burst out in laughter. I think we realized how ridiculous we looked- I mean, first- we were running (as if we will out run the drops of rain as they fall and escape somehow miraculously dry). Second, we were wearing ridiculous outfits. We had left Janine's house in our slippers and socks & flip flop combos and a straw hat with flowers that we had found on the ground. Truly a sight, if anyone had happened to pass. We dropped off one of the girls where she is staying, took a few pictures and then splashed through every puddle we could as we walked through the alley to our house. The laughter and joy of feeling like a kid again stayed with me for the rest of the week.

The second rain experience I am grateful for this week was a double rainbow. I saw them early Thursday morning just before starting morning chores. They were in the shape of an ark from one spot on the horizon to another. One rainbow was magnificently bright- rainbows here seem to be brighter than ones I've seen elsewhere and they also contain an almost fluorescent pink under the purple. The other rainbow was the exact same shape, above the bright rainbow and a little more faded. I've never seen a sight like this one. It was incredible.

Now, I'm just going to go ahead and be cheezy for a minute. I can't help but take these physical experiences and apply them as a spiritual lesson. There are so many things to complain about here. The living situations, our schedules, etc. are totally out of the ordinary. In fact sometimes I'm surprised to find myself still here. But I know I am here because of what God does. He takes the rain, the gray, the cold, and turns it into a source of laughter, joy, rejuvenation, and beauty. That's a promise.

first encounter with a deadly animal

..or insect rather. It was a beautiful sunny, warm afternoon (one of the best days I've seen yet) and I was peacefully staining the outdoor picnic tables (my work duty project for the day) when I heard a scream.... "hey, Claire, wanna see a cool spider I found?" It was actually more of a loud request than a scream, now that I think about it. I ran over to rescue my co-worker. He lifted up a tarp that was lying on the ground to reveal a big black spider with a red dot on its back. "A black widow!" I gasped. "No, a red back." Yeah, yeah same diff. The point is that these things, although only about the size of a quarter (maybe a bit bigger) can kill you with one bite. And they're everywhere. Okay, they're really not everywhere; I've seen one in three weeks and only because I was working within close proximity to the garden crew. And they don't really kill people anymore, since the invention of modern medicine... but still, it was exhilarating.

Equally exhilerating was the lecture topic this week: how to reconcile a belief in a good God and the existence of so much suffering in the world. Why are people hungry? Why do children get abused? Why do people get cancer? How can a good, omnipotent God allow these things to happen? This has been a particularly relevant question in my life since the passing of one of my best friends, Christelle, and my cousin's husband, Dan. I don't think I can adequately provide an answer in a short blog entry. And the unsatisfying part of it all is that sometimes there is no answer. There will probably never be an answer to the why questions. But there is an answer to the how. As to how can God allow bad stuff to happen, the simplest but most true answer in most cases is: free will. See, we believe that God loves people, all people, and that His greatest desire is that we would love Him. But He cannot make us. Real love involves choice. We cannot be forced to love someone, that is not love. So He gave us choice. We can choose what to eat, what to say, what we believe, what we do. And unfortunately we can choose to do hurtful things. The sad fact is that this world is a big mess of people's choices. Corporations can choose to use slave or child labor. Rulers of nations can choose to deny foreign aid and relief workers into their country after a national disaster. People can choose to pick up a weapon and end someone's life. We choose to lie, cheat, steal, hurt, offend. And each bad choice has a ripple effect on the people around us. Bad choices are also often carried on and repeated from generation to generation. Does this mean He doesn't care? No. He cares deeply. He grieves over the state of the world, just as a parent is sad when his or her child makes mistakes or decisions that hurt himself or others.
See, once you understand that most of the suffering in this world is not caused by Him, you really only have to decide whether you think He is sick and twisted and likes that we make these messes, or that He is really like the Father He says He is and grieves over it. I realized that I used to believe in His goodness but the death of my friend had shaken that faith. The decision to doubt His goodness closed my heart up, building walls that kept out His comfort. This week reopened my eyes to His compassion, to the fact that He feels our pain and sorrow.
Many things, like cancer and tsunamais and the like, are still beyong comprehension. They probably always will be. The fact that the universe is "infinite" and not only that but expanding (into what? is my question) is beyond my comprehension. I don't understand everything, but I choose to believe that when God described Himself as gracious, compassion, slow to anger and rich in love He wasn't lying.

A teardrop on earth
summons
the King of Heaven.
- Charles Swindoll

my mailing address

Just so you all know, if you want to send letters or treats or anything like that, my address is:

P.O. Box 8501
Perth Business Centre
Perth, WA 6849
Australia

(It is NOT expected at all, but stuff from America can be quite good leverage in trying to get favors from people here. Just kidding. Kind of.)

Feel free to send gummy worms, Trident gum (spearmint), reese's pieces and other such health food items. Or, you know, whatever you think you would miss if you lived with a herd of kangaroos. Incidently, kangaroos can be quite aggressive and nasty and they actually box each other while balancing on their tails. True story.

the Bunk Bed Bounce

So, I figured living in a top bunk for 3 months would be a fun experience (now that I am no longer eight years old). Indeed, it has been. So let me give you the set up first, the visual, real quickly. I sleep in a bunk in the corner of the room. Running parallel to the bunk are four large shelves for putting our clothes and other personal items. The person in the bottom bunk gets the bottom two shelves, and I get the top two. Great. Now, just the other day, tired from yet another very long and exhausting, though satisfying, day I excitedly prepared to jump into my cozy, high altitude place of rest. I got into my p.j.s anxiously anticipating the comfort my pillow would bring to me. I started my ascent. I put one foot on the shelf across from the bottom bunk and one foot on the bottom bunk itself. I then took off my glasses and put them away (I usually take them off when I am already fully in bed, but it's hard to reach across to the shelf so I figured I'd just take them off on my way up). Next, I moved my foot up to the next shelf. I braced myself for the jump, propelled myself from the leg on the shelf and grabbed for the side of the bed nearest to the wall so that I could pull myself into the bed. This is my usual routine. But having already taken off my glasses I miscalculated the width of the bed and missed the edge by a sparrow's fart (Australian for a very short distance). Having nothing within grasp to catch myself (other than an unanchored sleeping bag) and having already removed my foot from the shelf below, I found myself hurdling through the air frantically twisting in order to land on my feet. So there it is. I fell from my bed. Luckily, I did land on my feet and no parties, myself included, were injured. But Yoo Jin (my bunkmate) and I found it about the funniest thing we had ever seen. The fact that people were sleeping and we weren't supposed to laugh made it even funnier. I admit that that night, for the first time in my life, I actually laughed myself to sleep.

On a much more serious note (sorry to shift gears so abruptly, allow yourself time to adjust): this week was Forgiveness week. In order to really affect people and be effective on outreach, we need to be able to love. One thing that hinders us from loving people -whether they be our family, our friends, or strangers on the street- is bitterness due to unforgiveness. So this week we talked about forgivenss and then had a chance to "apply" it on Friday. People were given the opportunity to ask forgiveness (from God or from others) for things they've done and/or to forgive others for things done to them. This was done, by those who chose to do it, in front of everyone in the class. I have never been through such an emotionally intense day in my life. We started at 9:30 a.m. and ended at 4:00 a.m. Yeah, in the morning. It was heartbreaking the things people in my group had been through. People forgave rape, incest, molestation, physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, and even the murderer of a friend. Many asked for all kinds of forgiveness, too. Everyone who asked for forgiveness or extended it received prayer. It was an incredibly healing and freeing experience. Since then, I have seen in the faces of the people around me a newness and a lightness. Interaction between us is markedly different- free of shame, free of bitterness, free of insecurity. At the end of the day we all realized how broken we really are and how easy it is to operate out of that brokenness and hurt. We weren't magically "fixed" overnight, but heavy burdens have been lifted and there is room for greater healing, greater communication, and greater love. If I went home today, it would all be worth it. Luckily, I am in this for the long haul.

6:00 a.m. exercise and other fun surprises

So, in terms of actual events taking place there is little to update. But I've been in Perth almost a week now so I suppose I should have something new to say.

Just to give you a little idea of what my life looks like here, so far:
(By the way, newly acquired Australian vocab will be highlighted in bold. I think you can figure out the meaning from the context. If not, feel free to ask.)

I share a room with twelve other girls. Across the hall (sharing the same bathrooms are thirty more girls.) I live in a top bunk, which means I am fine-tuning my abilities to balance, climb in the dark, and turn without shaking the bed. The dorm is lovingly and affectionately called "2-2-8" because it is located at 228 Lord St. No pun intended. We have a small kitchen that is stocked with muesli, bread for toast, and milk. Thanks be to God, there is a hot water dispenser. If you don't know, I have recently recovered from an addiction to coffee by picking up a far more pleasing addiction to tea. The presence of a hot water dispenser assured me that no matter how hard things get here, I will be able to survive.


The schedule: We wake up at 6:00 for morning exercise. Now, I'm pretty sure I read the website well before applying to this program. I don't remember anything about obligatory runs at 6:00 a.m. (at which time it is still dark and very cold, remember, because it is winter here). At least, I tell myself, I was physical at some point in my life. I used to run back in the day... and not just from people, but for fun. Anway, after our fun little run we have time to get ready for our morning chores at 8:00. Sweeping, cleaning toilets etc. I whistle while I work and it goes by fast enough. Lectures fill the rest of the morning for the most part till lunch at 12:30. Oh wait, I am forgetting morning tea! We break every morning for tea around 10:00. This is a tradition I fully embrace, enjoying tea so much. The only downside is that they offer heaps of bread and pastries which have been donated by local bakeries. "Downside?" you say? YES. The secret to how this program runs successfully on the little money it has is that they receive lots and lots of donated bread. There are always free bread and pastries lying about. This isn't so bad except for the fact that lunches and dinners are mostly pasta or rice. After just a couple days here you will find yourself, willingly or not, on the all carb diet. They warned us that most girls will gain 15 pounds while in training. I'm starting to understand how.


In the afternoon we are assigned to do work duties. I have been assigned to "property," which basically means maintenance. Now, God only knows how I ended up in this group. The entire extent of my experience with maintenance and repairs is the belief that duct tape fixes anything. The strange part is that I filled out a form prior to being assinged to this group in which I indicated my TOTAL lack of handyman skills. The funny thing is that these people pray about EVERY decision they make, even which people to assign to which work duty groups, and ask for God's guidance. So I can only reasonably conclude that God is making a funny. This oughtta be interesting. (I have to say though, after the first day that I am really grateful to be in this work group. One of my new friends here is in the group and we get to learn how to repair things, tear down walls and create new things, paint etc. I keep thinking "this is how I will gain the skills to be able to compete on Design Star!")


After work duties we have dinner at 5:30. Which is a perfect time to tell you all that along with a gas, energy, and water shortage the great nation of Australia is apparently also suffering from a great napkin shortage (or serviettes as the Aussies call em). I'm pretty sure the base just doesn't have the money to buy them, but they won't admit it. So the most amusing thing about meals around here is the fact that everyone -young, old, male, female, sloppy or meticulous- uses their pants to clean their hands. It'll be even funnier when I keep doing this even after returning to the states.

Well, that's about it. I'll have more to report soon, I reckon (truly, they say this in Australia).

Pray for rest for me. This thing is a full-time gig and then some.

Thanks for stoppin by, see you again soon!

Good Morning Hong Kong!

I think this particular entry may come out in jibberish. I am sitting in the Hong Kong airport (huge) sipping on a delicious cappucino and enjoying free (well, with my beverage purchase) internet access, waiting for my friend to meet me so we can go enjoy the city! The key pad has all these symbols on it, which are rather strange looking having never seen them anywhere but on food packages in multicultural San Francisco. I can't help but look out the window every couple seconds to enjoy the view. The airport is mostly made of windows, allowing it to easily and silently boast of the gorgeous mountains that surround it. I have never seen anything like it. I feel so humbled and exhilerated and captivated by this new, strange place I am in. Finding yourself in a new place, especially a place in the world that resembles nothing of any of the other countries and places you have seen, is one of the greatest gifts. I wish I could put into words what I felt as we were landing. The sun was rising- pink, gold, orange, and blue in patterns and shapes that made it look like it had been brushstroked onto the sky. There were big puffy clouds as well as thin, wispy clouds and mist like condensation that just exaggerated the colors even more. Best of all, these tiny little mountain islands scattered throughout the sea were sprouting up from the rather calm looking water. The combo of the seascapes and skyscapes made me feel like we were landing in the label of a fancy package of Chinese tea. My breath was stolen and replaced with a sigh of gratitude. How lucky! How blessed to be seeing what I am seeing. And the day has just begun!

Ah my friend has arrived and it's time to see Hong Kong!! To be continued...

Back again (now in Perth, several days later, but pretend I haven't gotten there yet)...

... a quick recap of the flight (before the euphoric landing) will reveal that I am not always so grateful and "centered". Shari, the kids, and Christina dropped me off at the airport, and as they all pulled away I was flooded by the feeling and thought: "What am I doing here? Where are you going?" I stood at the curb for a good long until I figured out that since I was at the airport, I must be there to get on a flight. I looked through my bag for further clues. Sure enough there was an itinerary for a flight to Australia, via Hong Kong in my purse... with MY name on it!! So I checked in, happily shedding the 200 pounds of luggage I had brought, made my final good bye calls, and then headed for my gate.

I sat at the gate waiting to board, thanking God for this opportunity and for my amazing last day and evening in Berkeley. I decided I wanted to add to my thanksgiving by listening to a worship song. I got out my ipod and tried to turn it on.. but it wouldn't work. I started pressing the buttons frantically. Oh no oh no oh no. Not a fourteen hour flight without music. Please God no. I put it back in my bag, tried to calm myself and then took it out again. It really wasn't working. It was totally dead. I had labored hours the night before carefully selecting what music I would want to listen to for the next six months. I had charged it for more than 24 hours. How could this be happening? It would be no exaggeration to say that Jesus's famous last words nearly crossed my mind (the bit about being forsaken). I nearly cried. My pathetic little technology tantrum was cut short, thankfully, when I was called to board. I saw the plane for the first time then, through the windows, and my jaw literally dropped. It was the size of of three story apartment building. I giggled in delight. How do they make that thing fly? I gave the guy my ticket and started to walk down the little boarding gate/hall thing. Okay, you know a plane is big when there are two separate halls leading to it, and the one for economy class is long enough and has enough turns and twists to get you lost. When I finally got on I was equally delighted by the inside. It was a high school. Two rows, ten people each, and probably over a hundred rows. A small city was flying to Hong Kong. It was great. I couldn't hide my excitement. I exchanged mystified looks with an elderly Indian man. It's big! I said, stretching out my arms. I sat down and asked God forgiveness for my rotten attitude earlier. I am the luckiest person on earth.

Well, this post is already getting quite long and I'm sure I've probably lost 60% of my readers, but I must comment on my day in Hong Kong. It was awesome. My friend Gregory showed me around. We had breakfast at a fancy cricket club, did a tram ride up to a very scenic view point, we took a ferry across to Kowloon, we went to a park in the middle of the city, equipped with a bird sanctuary and all. We had so much fun in fact that I nearly missed my flight. It was to depart at 3:00. I was still going through immigration at 2:45, then discovered that my gate was nearly a mile away. I ran so hard I couldn't breath. I was the second to last to board. Exciting. This flight was not so smooth, but I will spare the negativity. Suffice it to say that by then I was tired of traveling. I think I grumbled angry sentences in my half sleep, and I definitely started crying at one point. I was a total basket case. I'm sure I was frightening the passengers around me. I recovered from my grumpiness about ten minutes before landing only to discover that the girl who was sitting next to me the whole time is in the same program as me. Boy, talk about first impressions.

And that topic... I will save for the next entry. Thanks for faithfully reading to the end. I'll try to keep it shorter next time.